


I Think I'm In Love With You (And I'm Terrified)

by karcathy



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, i mean i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 16:23:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6336052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karcathy/pseuds/karcathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika isn't scared of many things, but addressing his feelings is definitely one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I'm In Love With You (And I'm Terrified)

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the Yorkshin arc (i guess that's obvious). #32 from this (http://karcathy.tumblr.com/post/141536038148/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you)! Hoo boy. Sorry, Kat, I don't think I win your extreme angst bonus points. I think I exhausted my angst on Bella. Enjoy :)

Kurapika closed his eyes, gripping his phone so tightly it was leaving a stark red dent in the soft skin of his fingers, almost pressing into the bone. Another call from Leorio he was letting go through to voicemail. Another call he was desperately resisting the urge to answer. Taking a deep breath, he let his phone slide through his fingers and clatter to the floor. He leant back against the wall and slid down next to it, burying his face in his hands. He didn't know how much longer he could fight this. Even though he'd told himself his friends would only be a liability, that he needed to do this alone, there was a part of him that desperately wanted to see them again. There was a part of him he'd been trying to ignore, but now it was screaming too loud to drown out. The part of him telling him to hell with all of this; to hell with everything as long as he could see Leorio again. The part of him that wanted him more than it wanted the revenge his whole life had been building towards for the past five years. That part of him scared him more than any other: the idea that all of this could be for nothing.

He picked up his phone, opened a new text. _I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified_ , he wrote, then erased it. It wouldn't be fair, he decided, to tell him now. It wouldn't change anything. It couldn't.

 

***

 

It was hard to believe, after all that, it was finally over. Some part of him had never believed it would ever end; some part of him believed he'd die trying. But here he was, watching Gon and Killua goofing around like nothing had changed. For the first time in far too long, he answered Leorio's phone call. He heard his voice, and his heart felt like it would burst. There was so much he wanted to say; too much to know where to begin.

Watching Leorio play-fighting with the kids – he couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled, let alone laughed. He hadn't known how much he'd missed this.

“Leorio,” he said, when they finally stopped and collapsed on the grass, all laughing, “I...”

The words dried up in his throat. Even now, it was too hard to say them. After so long denying his feelings, he'd lost the power to voice them.

“Yes?” Leorio said, looking up at him.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, nervously glancing at the children and then back up at Leorio.

Killua got the hint instantly.

“Come on, Gon,” he said, standing up and holding his hand out, “Let's go and get more ice cream.”

Gon started to protest, but Killua managed to drag him away, leaving Kurapika alone with Leorio.

“What is it?” Leorio asked, drawing Kurapika's gaze back to him from the retreating children.

“I think I'm in love with you,” Kurapika said, and mentally he added _and I'm terrified_ , a habit born of writing those words out too many times. It was still true, but differently so. He was no longer afraid of dying with this last regret hovering over him.

“You... what?” said Leorio, blinking in surprise.

“I'm sorry,” he said, taking a step forwards, “I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I'm sorry for trying to push you away. And... I'm sorry for telling you this now. You don't have to say anything. But it's true. I'm in love with you.”

He could feel his heart fluttering, fear coursing through his veins. What if, after all that, Leorio just laughed it off? What if this was the wrong decision?

“You're... in love? With me?” Leorio said, and Kurapika focused on the ice cream dripping off his face, on the sticky stains on his shirt, on anything except his eyes.

“I'm sorry,” he said again, “I just... I can't hold it in any longer.”

There was a long moment of silence, and Kurapika fought the urge to run away, or throw up, or both.

“I can't believe it,” said Leorio, his face lighting up, “I thought... Well, honestly, for a while there I thought you might have died. At the very least, I thought you didn't want to see me again. But this... this is more than I could have ever hoped for.”

“You mean...?” Kurapika let his voice trail off, not daring to hope Leorio was saying what he wanted him to.

“I love you, too,” Leorio said, closing the distance between them.

“Really?” Kurapika said, looking up at him.

“Really,” he said, leaning down and kissing him.

Kurapika felt like his heart was exploding; like all the fear he'd been carrying was burning up, replaced by pure, unadulterated joy. In that moment, he couldn't be happier. 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh! A by-the-way: I based this on the 1999, since I haven't gotten around to watching 2011 yet. Not sure if the park scene is different there.


End file.
